Should you put a steak on a black eye?

Ice is hardly as dramatic as a carefully placed porterhouse, but it does the same job.  There is no magic in the beef, just cold and a little pressure.  Keeping your head elevated and avoiding aspirin or ibuprofen, which can affect the ability of your blood to clot, also helps.  The best idea is to avoid getting punched in the first place.

From: Why do Men Have Nipples? by: Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg, M.D.

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Ice is hardly as dramatic as a carefully placed porterhouse,…